12 year olds can break your heart

  So as we wrap up out little blogging sesh, i must say I enjoyed this unit very much. I liked hearing about everyone's stories of there past or present, and learned a lot about everyone is the class. But now I actually have to write about something so for the my last blog I'm going to write about my day home yesterday.  

    So the past two mornings I have woken  up with this massive bloody nose along with the biggest headache and my teeth hurt so bad. Tuesday morning I stuck though it and went to school,  thinking it was just the common cold. Well yesterday when I woke up it was a little worse and I felt like complete shit. 

     When i went to the doctors there just said I had a pretty bad sinus infection, they also gave me a tip to maybe start suing a humidifier in my room because having the sinus infection along with really dry air wasn't helping out so much.  Anyway, when I got home i took some medicine and fell asleep for 3 hours, just a straight up dead sleep. around 3:00 my cousins comes through the door, Skylar, Avery's older brother just yelling as loud as he can that he is staying the night tonight because his mother doesn't want to come pick him up. Knowing that my grandmothers best friend was staying the night, I knew right away that the `12 year old boy would have to sleep in my room tonight, and with working the closing shift tonight, I wanted a lot of sleep which I wasn't going to get. 
     9:00pm came around and nannie told us to get our stuff together and get our butts to bed, being the adolescent boy he is, he argued to stay up longer, blah blah blah. I was laying in bad as he thumped his way up the stairs, he comes through the doors, lays softly on the bed and says "Nat-Nat, do you ever just think about him?" Knowing just who he was talking about, I said "There's not a day I don't." We went on about a 20 minute conversation about my grandfather and all the memories we had together with him, shockingly he nor i cried. Then to go on further, just breaking my heart even more, basically saying what I said in my last blog, he said "Oh and I have something else nat, when you go off to college this year, it's gonna suck, your my favorite cousin, please don't tell anyone that, but you are. I just don't want you to think that because you are too old we can't have spend over nights at nannies." and I said "No matter how far away I will be, or how old I am, I will never be to told to spend time with you." He turns over and goes to bed. I never realized how much of an impact I had in my cousins life until now, and until now, I've never hated the thought of college so much.    

Growing up sucks

As I sit and think about going off to college,  I start to think about how different my life will be.  There's going to be some things I will have to miss,  like cookie day tradition, 3rd Saturday of every month all my cousins stay the night with my grandmother, but most of all,  I'm going to miss Blue Hill Fair weekend.  This happens once a year every labor day weekend,  which every time it comes I don't know if it hate it because school starts the next day,  or if I absolutely love it because it's the one time a year that no matter what family differences went on over the past year,  we get together and enjoy selling baked potatoes.  

       For those of you who don't know,  my family and I started the "Too Hot Potatoes" booth at the Blue hill fair over 13 years ago...  I think..  And the past 3 years the grandparents have been running it.  Last year was a big eye opener for all of us because it was the first year without our main attraction that brings in everyone for the goods.  My grandfather, the talker he was,  and due to him knowing everyone,  he brought in all of our money.  It was a bittersweet weekend for us,  but we all came together and got through it.  

     Honestly,  I know it's a ways away,  but all I can think about is missing that weekend this year,  it will be my first year not being there since I can remember. It breaks my heart to think I won't be seeing my cousins, or my aunts,  though I complain about them all the time,  they are my life.  The fact that I'm getting older,  and flying out of the next scares me. But for now on,  I have to soak up every minute I have with them and enjoy it.  As I said before,  no one tells you it's the little thing you want to reminisce in, you don't fine that out until it's to late.  

        

Significant meaning

So I'm going off a limb here from previous stories I have blogged about. Please do not mind a couple swear words here and there.  And  at the end,  don't ask who the person is because I've already dealt with them,  but I just wanted to clear something up.
      Yesterday,  I was writing on the sign out board to leave for my internship.  When next thing I know,  there were two people talking about the thing I had on my left ring finger.  For those of you who don't know,  I have a tattoo that is the military ribbon. It's just like the cancer ribbon but the color that stands for military is yellow. And just so people will stop telling me how bad of an idea it was to get this tattoo on my ring finger,  I will tell you why I did it.
    As many of you may know by now,  and if you don't,  I don't know how, my father was injured over in afiganistan,  causes by driving over a road side bomb.  The only half that blew up was of course my dad's half.  That one bomb has impacted my life greatly because my dad never got to see me grow up from there on out.  Now don't think I'm not lucky I didn't get to spend time with him for the seven years I got to because I am.  Those seven years are 7 blessings I couldn't cherish more.  But anyway back to my reason. Most of the girls I know when they get older and get married,  their dad's will be able to give them away.  Me,  not so much,  and it just so happens my back up plan won't work either because my grandfather died.  I've been thinking about getting this tattoo for a long time now.  Putting this tattoos on this finger signifies to me that no matter who I get married to,  or how in love with them I am,  behind them,  or in this case underneath the ring shows my dad will always be my first love and he will forever have my heart now matter what.
     So there ya go,  people may not agree with what I did,  but in the end it doesn't matter,  and whoever I get married to and fall completely in love with will hear my story,  and not even blink an eye to why I did it.  For the people that support me,  or the decison I made,  thank you! I know it's just a tattoo,  but it's a tattoo that means more than gold to me!